
Because I Said So – A Book That Opened My Eyes as a Parent
I just wanted to share my review of this book because it was one of the very first books I read about parenting—and it changed everything for me.
It made me think, cry, and then unlearn and relearn many of the parenting beliefs I had carried from my own childhood.
Reading this book helped me understand one powerful truth:
Children living in an adult’s world deserve better.
I’m sharing my experience because I believe the author’s message is simple, clear, and so needed:
Every parent should pause and think twice before raising their hand or voice at their child.
This book is phenomenal.
It became one of my biggest motivations to start my journey to become a parent coach.
Because yes—children in today’s world need more people like us to hold them, understand them, and ensure their emotional safety.
We need to build a world where parenting is rooted in deep connection, understanding, and empathy.
That’s why Children Harbor exists—to support parents who are ready to transform and grow alongside their children.
This review of Because I Said So is more than just a post.
It’s the beginning of something bigger.
More is coming soon…
Book Review: “Because I Said So! Why Society is Childist and How Breaking the Cycle of Discrimination Towards Children Can Change the World” by Sarah Ockwell-Smith
In “Because I Said So!”, Sarah Ockwell-Smith, a leading voice in gentle parenting, takes a bold leap beyond typical parenting advice to expose a pervasive, yet often invisible, societal issue: childism. This book is not merely about how to manage tantrums or encourage sleep; it’s a profound and often unsettling examination of how ingrained discrimination against children shapes our parenting, our institutions, and our world.
Ockwell-Smith argues that while society has made significant strides in recognizing and combating other forms of discrimination (racism, sexism, ageism towards the elderly), children remain a demographic whose needs, feelings, and rights are routinely dismissed, undervalued, and even openly ridiculed. The very phrase “because I said so!” encapsulates this unconscious bias, demanding blind obedience from children in ways that would be deemed unacceptable if applied to adults.
Understanding “Because I Said So!” by Sarah Ockwell-Smith (in simple words)
- What is Childism?
Sarah Ockwell-Smith explains a powerful idea: childism—the unfair treatment of children just because they’re children. Like other “-isms” (such as racism or sexism), childism is about seeing one group as less important. She shows how kids are often ignored, controlled, or punished in ways we would never accept for adults. - Where These Ideas Come From
The book looks at history, psychology, and media to show how many parenting habits come from old-fashioned and harmful beliefs. Even if people say, “It didn’t hurt us,” Ockwell-Smith explains that these ways of raising kids often cause emotional harm and keep unhealthy patterns going. - A Clear Double Standard
She asks us to imagine treating an adult—like a friend or coworker—the same way we sometimes treat kids: yelling at them, ignoring their feelings, punishing them publicly. It would be seen as wrong. So why is it seen as okay when it’s done to children? - Why It Matters
This kind of treatment can hurt children’s self-esteem, relationships, and emotional growth. Ockwell-Smith believes that if we want a kind and fair society, we need to start by treating children with the same respect we give adults. - What We Can Do
This isn’t just about pointing out problems—it’s a call to change. She encourages parents, teachers, and society to look at their own attitudes, challenge old habits, and stand up for kids’ rights. Respecting children doesn’t mean letting them do whatever they want—it means guiding them with kindness, understanding, and fairness.
Why This Book is Essential:
This book is a challenging read in the best possible way. It forces parents, educators, and anyone who interacts with children to confront deeply ingrained assumptions and biases. It provides:
- A New Lens: Once you understand childism, you’ll see it everywhere – from playground dynamics to government policies.
- Validation for Gentle Parents: For those already embracing gentle parenting principles, this book offers powerful validation and a robust intellectual framework for their approach.
- A Catalyst for Change: It inspires readers to not only refine their own parenting practices but to become advocates for a more child-friendly and equitable society.
My Takeaway from Because I Said So! – and Why It Matters
This book truly shifted the way I see parenting and the way I see children. Because I Said So! isn’t always easy to read—it makes you stop and think about the parenting habits you’ve learned, accepted, or even passed on. And that can feel uncomfortable. But that discomfort is where real growth begins, like I did. Sarah Ockwell-Smith doesn’t just ask us to change our parenting techniques—she invites us to change the way we see children:
As real human beings who deserve the same respect, choices, and care that we give to adults. This book defines why I started Children Harbor—to help parents raise emotionally strong, confident, and connected children. If we want a kinder world, it starts at home—with how we listen to, speak to, and treat our children. This is a must-read for anyone ready to break old patterns and parent with more heart, understanding, and purpose.
And that is exactly what Children Harbor is designed for.
We support you in uncovering the truth behind generational parenting and help open a wide window of learning—offering endless opportunities to raise your child with emotional intelligence, confidence, and connection.